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WITHOUT WORDS

I hope it is not a farewell and that you, dear editor, back to post ...

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Closed for inventory *

* written since 2005 is hanging outside a shop selling computer in my home town

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I Plautmasch Monday: The new season

Good day, dear publisher, today's topic is inspired by an episode of the week happened his little family. I'm talking about the precise moment when you've accidentally stumbled upon the wonderful world of gold given to the few. That mysterious world that lies in the attic above your foremen and which sometimes looks Aim sighing. In that moment you realize that money does not give a f eli speed: buy it.

already treated in some of my (Penthouses Apocalyptic "is one of them) had previously stated that if the bitter truth is also true that the rich kids cry, they cry less salty tears of their less wealthy peers. A fair account in the bank is helping to change even the organic chemistry of our body.

It 'sad to say, but the poor also differs from the rich to the punishments inflicted to their babies. "For punishment will send you to your room! And now why are you laughing?" Ah, yes, we live in a studio ... then go to bed without dinner. How? Right, this is already almost every night ... well then tomorrow will not send you to that school that you really like, so your teacher was a precarious and they fired. "

we invite you to imagine this scene. A grandfather is playing Monopoly with his grandchildren and at some point get angry for the wrong move for him." allow me Pierpierisilvio small. You can not go to jail without passing through the street, Chiribbio this is unacceptable! Have you done the usual trick judiciary Communist punishment you lock an entire weekend in the garage of our house in the Bahamas. will understand that punishment.

Imagine this other scene. Summer 2016: we are on the Blue Force, a yacht the size of which approach it more like a destroyer than a cruise ship. The Little Hawk Nathan is doing crazy and his father is recovering strongly. " short, stop to set fire to the sailors' trousers. Now I have a stew: Do you lock a couple of hours in the garage. What, dear?" Oh yes we do not have garages on board, then sit in the galley, including lobsters, caviar and champagne. " will understand that punishment.

Still not convinced? 2017 Monza, Italian Grand Prix. Little Wolf has combined another of his father and Luke, usually the patient, this Once he gets angry. "Just brat that you are nothing. I really can not do more. This time I locked up all night in the pits, Ferrari ." will understand that punishment.

Live long and prosper (even cheaper) for everyone.

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Friday night. After coming out for a drink and have ruled out the possibility of going to the movies in theaters because there is that, we put ourselves on the couch, sipping red wine while watching a movie. All is quiet, when suddenly takes me a feeling that something is missing ...

"But where is .. Lower our roommate? "

" What, do not you remember? E 'at the beach with my until Thursday "

" Ah "

"..."" But today is Friday "

" Oh shit! "

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failures made by the stars .... the garage

... and then put the car away in the garage, do I go and I hear this noise. Cling Clang clung. But what, I wonder? And I realize that comes from inside a garage. Rather, from inside one of the (many ) garage Pivius (and rich mythological character who lives in the attic of our building with the family of two and Pivia PierPivi, ndr) but not the we the remote control.

"So what?"

"And so I'm a little 'feel to see if maybe the problem is some of the overhead power electronic device to be crazy ... and yet at some point starts to move the handle of the garage and I have no doubt ... someone "inside" the garage that can no longer get out! "
" So what? "
" So I ask, "Is anybody there?". And the noise suddenly stops. I also knocked and I asked: "Is anybody there?". But nothing. "

" Ah "

" And now, now what do we do? Come down and see you or I go to Pivia to tell him? Maybe I was hallucinating and takes me crazy "
" Ma .. Go on to tell him, maybe it's some of the children who played and remained locked in "

" Or maybe he was a thief who tried to steal the Cayenne! Okay listen. I'm going. "



My roommate goes High.

Back in five minutes, even more upset. And it is for two reasons:

1) has been invited to join the prestigious house of Pivi, allowed a view only a few selected human beings. Pivio The apartment, ten times as large as ours, occupies two floors and an elevator that goes directly into the house. To get there is the key, but a special scanner which examines the ' iris before kick off free.
The eyes of my roommate High saw at that moment things that we humans can not even imagine: a blaze of white walls covered with skin (human?) Silver, paintings, furnishings and priceless carpets.
But the vision was only partial and confused, because the subject was too stunned because of point 2.



2) My roommate Alta discovered what was happening in the garage of Pivius. The Pivia was not surprised and did not take the Alta crazy. Without too much bother, said:
"I know what's going on. Come on we take the elevator: I leave you to your floor and then go on the garage"
"?!?"
"Eh yes. You'll know yourself when your daughter is older "
"?!?"
" In the garage I left my son (Pierpivius ed) that is punishment. When you crazy and makes me despair let him down five or ten minutes so he learns. "
" Ma .. How old is your son? "
" Ten. "
" Ah ... "
" You'll see, you'll know yourself when your daughter will grow. "


Maybe one day the high will understand. He is currently a bit 'under shock.

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awful, awful, awkward questions I came

Scene 1. Lower back home after an afternoon spent with cousins.

"Low, are you happy now that you've done the bath with cousin G.?"

"Siiiii '"
"So sometimes we do it again, maybe he is here this time!"

"SIII! It is also F."

"No, your cousin F. is big, has 12 years ... is not the case"

"sin?"

"Because ... I do not think he is great pleasure to bathe with you"

"sin?"
"Because at that age was a bit 'modest, there is need for privacy ..."
"sin?"

Yes, sin?





Scene 2. Lower bedroom. The Low and the lawyer friend to play Lego and there is intensive in an amiable conversation.

"It 's new series?"

"No, I've got a bit 'of years,"

"Where did you use?"
"I gave it to my mom"
"What is your mother?"

"NomeMamma ( omitted for privacy reasons, then that plus more and we're talking about a lawyer and have to be careful, ed )
" What is it called mom architect (known to be a lawyer, and boyfriend bit '... so to speak, reluctant in addressing issues related to the theme of "offspring / children / figliame" ed)? "

"NomeMammaArchitetto"

"What is it called the daughter of the architect?"

Pause embarrassed. "No, Low. You know that I have no children and the Architect"

"And pity not to have children?"

".... Um .... ARCHITETTTOOOOO! "



innermost secrets are being revealed, the skeletons in the closet will soon see the light, the fingers are to be put into the wounds. After the long
, long season officially started COSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'''''', that of sin '. You are well advised.

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Monday Plautmasch: the new season

Just the other day my mom showed me a box full of odds and ends trimmed I left the house when mother went to live alone and I had forgotten.

The most beautiful things to see were the postcards, some written by people who do not even remember who they are, most written by representatives of the fairer sex.
was a boy my sister made fun of me for what I write now is that high that it does, with a distinctive sour note in his voice that betrays a degree of jealousy. "Gnnn ... .. but look at this, you wrote:" Hello beefy ... "And this:" How are you Paul Newman for Bassopoli. "And get this:" Here the sea of \u200b\u200bpretty boys there are many, but I have not yet found the most beautiful blue eyes of yours "."

The funny thing is that when I was ggggiovane I had not fully aware of my appearance and the power it conferred. Women foot waterfall at me and I thought it was a problem of low pressure.

What I did not know is that there was between my fans too, Margaret.
E 'was therefore a pleasant coincidence to discover that the intervention of our weekly columnist, the spin doctors Plautmasch professor, was focused on just this issue ....

"Good morning my dear Editor.

Please forgive me but I will use my column this Monday for a very special purpose. Like I said by phone this year I went the sea with some of my fellow scientists, including Margaret H, known astrophysicist.
do not know how it is learned that she, naive but likeable young man, now knows all about the love she secretly for years, has for him.
It asked me to deliver them some of his lines. At first I was promptly refused. We are not children of the first academic and higher education, but then I had to give. For both the umbrella that I have repeatedly received is to repay. Margaret this summer he saved my life: I had unwisely taken a bath immediately after lunch with plenty of mussels, squid, octopus and swordfish.

my immense love beautiful now I know you know.

know I love you, long time in silence, suffering. I love you with all of myself, with my every single subatomic particle. Designed to upset the delicate balance of my molecular hemodynamic flow. But I can not help it. To me you have more charm of "'Equation Tolman-Oppenheimer-Volkoff," you have more value to me of the "Theorem of von Zeipel.
You are my love plutonium.
I would have made him happy, very happy. For Christmas is not I would have got a belt all: I would give the belt of Orion. I would have dedicated constellations, galaxies, holes blacks.
I would be your Venus, you my Jupiter. For you I would have filled the "Hertzsprung gap", together we route the immense intergalactic space, visited the "Coma Berenices", crossed the yellow dwarfs, white dwarfs, red giants and visited the Smurfs Blue.
It does not matter if the march of time, cold and unforgiving, is leaving signs up that magnificent body that was once the terror of all the tatami Lombard. I do not care if that stomach, once flat and defined as a sea turtle, now sees the emergence of panic love.
I love you and will always love you. Your
M.

Gerd Upper Left Quadrant

The evil cat

In two years you have enough breath, coordination and awareness to be able to blow out the candles. And you have also enough to apply for and obtain the re-ignition of these candles, and its off for at least fifteen hundred times.

Two years can not wait to eat Totti (who at this point will be covered with spittle and wax, but all will still be happy to eat) and you light up your eyes when you sing every stone "Happy birthday to you ...", followed by the English version of "Eppie Bordei you iu.

Two years you've already figured out that means birthday gifts.
If your birthday in August, have the disadvantage that the day of your birthday almost everyone will be on vacation, but have the advantage that you can receive gifts for the next two months every time you see someone and maybe, you are your parents are in the mood, you will have at least a couple of birthday parties with different hosts.


At two years, you do not know what is the real star of your party will be you, the evil cat, aka "Hello Kitty", which then is that on your birthday will draw the greatest benefit. Is found in the pink backpack, block and markers (indelible) contained therein; in pink scooter "grew up" with contempt of danger that you gave your parents (although that said the store "is not suitable for children under three years "); version cleverly deceptive dell'Ombrellino (pink)" Heil Kitty "and again in lip gloss, in her purse, hair clips in, in T-shirt and nonmiricordocos'altromacisarannoalmenodiecioggettichehodimenticato.

Two years receive a gift on the first talking computer, which is to say the truth has a funny accent and Romanian also unusual courtesy Perfagore, press a button.
In two years there is also someone who gives "the frog" evil and infernal instrument to produce sound, suggesting that you can use it to wake up Daddy.
And you follow the advice.


Well ... even if late, happy birthday, roomie Low

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What remains of the holidays / 2

What would a holiday unlike any other, I had understood immediately, the port, when we were leaving.
"Find Low, our ship comes!"
His little face lights up. Then suddenly darkens and asks me, concerned: "But you ... you've got your costume?"

These holidays, spent in a Sardinian province new brand that was named after Mickey Mouse and singer from the '70s, were the first with a low and interactive speaker.

that because "it was great" had to sleep (almost) alone in the bed of large babies, perform its physiological functions in the toilet (almost always), take the purse, sunglasses and hat to go out (always). Who has learned to jump with your feet together with a detachment that is the envy of Fiona May. And on the beach below the sun turned the function "talk" and rekindled only when the back under the umbrella. That she was swimming with and without the chops. Who took and did so, from time to time, without notice, and if he takes off for a moment their eyes off risk losing them. What was the queen of bubble bath and the champion of "doodle" on the beaches (doodling is a technicality that indicates the decorations made by hand with the very wet sand, ed.)

this summer I have left in some catchy, like the question "Where do we go?" followed closely by "What to do?" repeated one thousand seven hundred times a minute, his voice distorted while terrorizing doing "ilmostrooo" his first fictional character, a trip to the mine by train, the big yellow helmet ten times his head, walking over the sea and galleries buissime; the trip to the cave of the fairies, a magical and fascinating, one hour of group visits in the silence broken by a girl who kept saying out loud "LET'S PLAY THE PACKAGE?". that you could never see the sheep when we were in the car and asked a thousand times "DOVEEEEEE? ". She has started making phony reports to make fun of "Peco Peco !!!". Again, the visit to an island not an island, the trip by ferry to an island that is in Sardinia but seems to Liguria, the huge beach is closed in winter and use the military to play in the war.

Then our hosts, Mr. and Mrs. Giulio Maria (whom he called "OhiMaria"), six children and ten grandchildren. "And we will never find anyone," she complained. And then every day they host a nephew or a child differently. Including the sixteen year old niece who went out at night in secret for fishing. And that their parents are not told of these pranks "if not no longer go ahead."

the first day, "Mr. Julius, we recommend some beautiful beach?"

"Well, those are the most beautiful beaches of the Caribbean"
"Thank you, Julius, but here are a little 'uncomfortable. I meant in the area "

And the lessons of Sardinia," Mr. Julius knows that when he speaks in dialect with OhiMaria, you do not understand anything. "
" You're right, Sardinian is a strange language. For example, the word "piccigarrosataghegnopurturudduricchu" in Italian means "child".
it is a good practice, eh, as a language.